WAS HE JEWISH?
In 1991, Robert came to work at Rembrandt’s. They were heady times. I had just taken over the business and really did not know what I was doing. Had I known what I know now I would never have hired Robert. He was perhaps the worst server we ever had at Rembrandt’s. But his customers loved him simply because of his quick wit and charm. He had an answer for everything. Those of you who played Quizzo with him know exactly what I am talking about.
Nevertheless he stayed at Rembrandt’s for quite a while and eventually moved into my apartment building next door where we initially became business partners. I didn’t have time to maintain the property so I made a deal with him to pay me $1000.00 per month to live there and he could sublet the rest of the property for however much he could get. He rented the closet! The living room became a bedroom. It was the beginning of his foray into real estate. Robert stayed in my apartment for almost 10 years and while he ceased to work at Rembrandt’s he began what no one would call and illustrious acting career. I remember him at the Shubin Theater with an improv group, which I was able to see quite clearly between my fingers as he wowed the audience with his acting pyrotechnics. His acting career unfortunately, or fortunately, was short lived.
Then there was a stint as a disc jockey for a while….Molly and Jay hired him as their disc jockey for their wedding but I do not have details. They are still married so I guess it worked.
Then he went on to become a real estate broker, which sparked endless conversation about real estate between he and I. That dialogue resulted in us buying a property, which he found, and to this day is still the best real estate deal I ever made.
He then went on a real estate rampage, buying and restoring shells usually for more money than they would sell for.
Real estate brought out Roberts most interesting trait, which was that he never threw anything out. He still has pieces of drywall, broken washing machines, and countless other crap in storage somewhere, expecting to use it in his next real estate venture. He seldom did.
And then there was Quizzo. I have forgotten when Robert started reading Quizzo but it was probably around the time that I begged him to read so Togo wouldn’t get hurt. I can’t tell you if he was an immediate success, but he soon became a hit. His intensity, his insistence on his rules, “No Running”, his unwillingness to repeat questions, his speed reading, his irreverence, and his offbeat sense of humor. He generated loyalty and made friends of many of the Quizzo people.
There were the nights a yell from the back of “Elvis” as
the intro the up-and-coming directions to the Shout Out questions, or the group
response of “No Shouting Out” when the round was about to begin.
Robert, much like the army, worked on a sixth grade mentality.
But perhaps the most fun, and the title of this paean to Robert was the
“& now it’s time for Gay Doug’s favorite moment of the Quizzo festivities—the
occasionally told, sometimes regrettable, often reviled but mostly not very
funny…Robert’s Internet Joke of the Week”, and
as Robert started to tell the joke there was always the assembled crowd’s
response chant of “WAS HE JEWISH!”
Woe be to you if you talked out loud during Robert’s jokes.
And the prizes on some occasions were memorable. I had a hand in some but they were mostly Robert’s. I found the His & Her Tissue paper boxes in somebody’s trash, not thinking he would use them but they became not only a hit but when they were a prize everybody tried a little harder to win. One of my favorite prizes was the Dum-Dum lollipops for the third place team. If you thought Robert never gave anything of value, you should realize that the Donovan McNabb Bobble Head Doll retails for $150.00 online. Robert actually sold them to me for $4.00, which I mindlessly agreed to and then he gave them as prizes during football season
It’s hard to explain a best friend. When they pass away, you don’t replace them. Robert was in the true sense of the word a best friend, as many of you will agree. As far as I am concerned he still is because I simply don’t have anyone to replace him with. I learned a lot from him and will continue to use his ideas, dedication and friendship as my mantra.
Jan