My friend has passed on…
Where do we start? How do
we sum up 26 years of friends? Do I
try summarizing our time living in the dorm together so many years ago? Would
that be the measure of this man?
Do I try to summarize our experiences in the fraternity together or at
Temple Hillel? Do I talk about the fun, joy, tragedies, pains, discoveries and
laughter…always laughter we shared?
Would that aptly express the affection so many old friends…and me …feel for him?
Do I start to describe the ridiculous, hilarious, absurd, surreal
adventures and situations…including 3 drives across country… I shared with this
man…?
Well…maybe one or two
Does everyone know that Bob had several nick names? It’s true, as an example…in
the early 80’s he was called CRASH, because Bob seemed to continually have car
accidents. Nothing major usually, a
fender bender here, a side swipe there, but inevitably after every weekend a new
dent or ding was on his red. Mid 70’s Chevy Nova.
Another particular nickname Bob earned, a personal & recent favorite was
the result of Bob dropping my son on his head. Nothing serious, but it was just
enough for me to tell that felt guilty.
And boy oh boy, went I knew Bob felt guilty about something, I knew there
was an opportunity to really have some long lasting, ball busting fun with him I
called him the next day and lied saying that when I showed my son a picture of
him, my son starting crying and rubbing his head and pointing at the picture
saying “Uncle make boo boo, Uncle make Boo Boo”….a nic name was born!
Bob loved it, absolutely loved it. Six years later both my children have
no idea that Robert Schiller has any other name than Uncle Boo Boo.
It wasn’t all fun and game with Bob and me.
No, we experimented and explored.
One particular physics experiment involved body’s in motion and those
same bodies coming to sudden stops.
Everyone knows the human body will bounce when thrown down a grassy incline?
It’s true and Bob and I proved it VIA empirical evidence.
1984…maybe 1985…we are playing touch football at University of Delaware.
After the game was over, Bob looked down a small hill…looked at me with a
grin - that Bob Schiller “I am about to do something stupid & shocking” grin…and
he said ‘throw me down the hill” I kid everyone not.
Because there are loving friends…of whom I am one of…who have concern for
the well being of my closest friends, I said “OK”.
Me and several other friends gave picked him up by the arms and legs and
trough him down the hill. Yep, he
bounced. Twice I believe.
He got up and said…that was cool, throw me further.
The stories go on and on…
like his misadventures in the Grand Canyon – which absolutely will not be
recounted here - his year on the
road as a Roadie for a rock n roll group, the time he almost got all of us
beaten up by a motorcycle gang at a bar in Pennsauken, the evening he thought it
would be entertaining to put his head through a dormitory wall
and many many more…about his times at Rembrandts, his softball games, his
weekend football games, his coaching the championship YMHA volley ball team the
honey bees…most of which we will all recount over coffee or…in many
cases…cocktails or beers over the years to come.
There is no one here who spent more than a week knowing this man who
didn’t come away with some story.
Some of us will cry, most of us will laugh, some of us already have done
a lot of both…but that’s not the only measure of this man or of his friendship.
My friend has passed on…
Rain nor shine, crisis or
celebration, laughter and tears…a constant throughout the last 26 years has been
Bob. My son is about to be born, my
wife in surgery for a c section, who am I on the phone with in the surgical prep
area? Bob. My father passes, who is
at the airport waiting for me when I land from California…Bob.
I get a flat at 2:00 a.m. in the middle of the winter down, as I pick my
new dog up from the airport, who comes to get me, my new dog and my future wife
Sigal?…Bob. I had a question about what movie actor was in what movie and when
or which is the more important statistic - slugging percentages vs. on base
percentages. It’s wasn’t a
friendships of “are you available”.
It wasn’t a friendship of “IF am I available” It’s wasn’t a friendship of “if no
one else is available” It was a bullshitless friendship, stripped of everything
except trust. We could say anything
to each other. Nothing was off
limits…nothing was a sacred cow….there were no “let’s not go there’s”.
I would have trusted my family, my finances and my life to him…without
hesitation. And him to me.
That’s irreplaceable. THAT
was the measure of this man to me…and that was the measure of our relationship
to each other.
But his life is a love
story now…
How do we measure this
man, my friend, today? By the way
he conducted his business?
“Everyone needs a home” his business card read.
Not “Schiller Real Estate” …everyone needs a home.
Interesting how life throws little sayings and phrases at you that mean
so much in hindsight. And how interesting that the man…who we also used to make
fun, of when he would break down restaurant bills to the penny…ended up buying
homes in the poorest section of Philadelphia, fixing them responsibly and taking
care of his renter’s religiously. It had become his calling, he loved what he
was doing…and his tenants loved him.
And during this venture
G-d shined a light into his life… Gail.
How many of us…me included…used to tease him on how he dressed or groan
at some of the more outrageous things he said? But Gail chose to look beyond
Bob’s untraditional unpolished exterior and saw hi golden highly polished heart
within – a highly polished heart. …an ironic analogy today.
Gail, he was lucky to find you, you were the wind in his sails…you and
your children. You gave deeper
meaning and purpose to his life…you where the catalyst of Bob’s
transformation…when you came into his life, his wings opened and he began to
fly. For the years you were with him, you saw his decent core…I only wish you
could have had so many more years with him.
Thank G-d he met you.
And now, I stand here,
beside myself and in denial, unable to accept that I will never see you again,
knowing I will never see “schiller” come across my caller ID…knowing I will
never hearing the familiar voice mail “yo, give me a call, I gotta ask ya’
something…215-bad-bird”…so incredibly sad that I…for the 1st time as
an adult…can’t be there for you to share this final adventure. But I am not
angry, I am so thankful to G-d; thankful for 26 colorful, glorious, crazy,
loving years of simply being your friend.
I love you Bob….Peaceful
journey my friend…
Jeff Silverman